Rear View….

Today everyone wants you to move on, get over it, forget about it. Very few people walk you through that process and even fewer tell you what that looks like and how they did it. The result? We’ve got 40 year olds still talking about high school glory days. We’ve got broken people at the altar every Sunday not understanding why a destructive cycle keeps going round and round.
Do you know what the rear view mirror is for in the car? It’s to give you a complete awareness of your surroundings. You can see straight ahead and to the sides just fine, but sometimes you need to respond to your rear view. Speed up to avoid a fender bender or slow down so those following you can stay on track. The Old Testament is full of past references; every genealogy listing starts with Abraham. Why not just begin with the most recent father? Because the memory of how long and how good God has been needed to be repeated and passed on. That’s how you combat the ugly realities in front of you.
I’m telling you what I practice myself. I have to remind myself constantly that God knows what He’s doing sometimes 😁. I can only get through problems by remembering what He’s already done. I get another health hiccup and while I may start a righteous meltdown, I quickly follow it up with an anecdote like; yeah, but I was walking 4 months after my amputation 💃🏿. I then keep this process on repeat until I’m good.
Want to break the cycles that have you in their clutches? Look in your rear view mirror of life, then categorize and characterize items. That demon/person you keep encountering and dating, you forgot to make a list so you recognize them regardless of how they come packaged.
Do you need a lighter example? Are you aware red velvet is simply chocolate with food coloring? I don’t care for chocolate too much, so no matter what color it comes in I’m not tempted..🧐 That’s A Word!
Take a peek, you might be able to make some room for the One who adds to your life and brings no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22).

Getting what you see…

With all the racial tension in society right now, I had a thought. I remember the study of dolls and how the doll you picked conveyed self hate or your view of beauty. Studying psychology, I fully bought into this idea. But what if it’s something simple? What if the chosen doll was simply the one that was most often  seen? I don’t watch television while in the hospital for this very reason. By the time I get discharged, I want everything I saw on tv from the very places I saw on tv. Wanting Taco Bell is not a hatred for burgers, it’s simply the most visible commercial. Admittedly, when I get what I saw, I fall into deep regret because what I needed was water and chicken broth.
Do we do this with people? Or, gasp, perhaps even God? Culture tells us what’s trending as beautiful and handsome so we go looking for those traits forsaking the value of depth, integrity and character. Maybe like I, you’re guilty of seeing God a certain way and once we leave the altar we want a refund. Or perhaps Christians are giving away sound bites of their story, leaving you with the bewilderment of what you did wrong. How come they are now so fabulous coming from where they started and you feel like the thread holding you is likely to snap at any moment.
I have decided that my goal in this season is to tell my journey, not just my story. My telling someone the absolute horrors of my kidney journey builds to climax for each and every time God made a way of deliverance. Saying I was on dialysis and now I have a transplant shortchanges the process, cheapens my emotions and battles and may leave out the piece that is the connector for the person listening.
I can’t make disciples and build communities if I can’t even be honest with myself. My greatest fear for a large portion of my life was would people still like me if they Really Knew me. Just a side note, that’s a form of bondage that is so subtle even the most saved can miss it. I got free of that by simply being sick. I mean so sick that I didn’t have the energy to care about what anyone thought, how they felt or why. I was in a place where it was constantly just me and Jesus. Even the who cared and I knew they cared couldn’t reach me. It was a space beyond fatigue and deeper than apathy. Ever been there?                                                                                                               Perhaps you aren’t ill, but you’ve reached a place in time where the only person that can fit in that space is Jesus, won’t you invite Him in? I can personally attest to the freedom and love and cherished feelings you will find with Him.