Month: December 2017

Song: Pixie Dust by Ruby Summer

In Sunday School, the golden rule was “do unto others as you want them to do unto you”; Matthew 7:12.
Easy to remember, a bit harder to do. As I got older I came up a new golden rule, “Be careful what you ask God for because it’s not coming the way you think”. Translation: God’s MO is not sprinkling pixie dust on you so you get the lesson.
Want more patience? God lets you get in situations that work your last reserved nerve until it doesn’t bother you anymore. Want some wisdom? Play the how many dumb mistakes does it take for you to pray for guidance towards better choices. I’ve asked for neither of these things, but I have asked for strength to not bend over every hiccup about my health. What did I get? An extensive wait in the ER waiting room, admission overnight in the same hospital I’ll be in on Tuesday and a bad attitude cause I’m hungry. Yeah 😒
I consider myself a mix of traits like kettle corn; mostly sweet but a bit salty. So I thank God that I’m not in pain, but I whine about another slice into my body. I worship because I know that He is with me and nothing catches Him by surprise, but I gripe about wanting some warning so I can calm myself down……And then it hit me:
If I knew what was coming I’d be trying to fix things or preparing myself for whatever. My ignorance of what’s ahead keeps me leaning on Him. How could He be my Jehovah Rohi if I always know where I’m going and how to get there?
So I pipe myself down and take a page out of Davids’ playbook:
Psalm 119:71 says it this way: “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees”.
Thank You God

Song: Hide the Word by Commissioned

As we race towards the end of 2017, with our arms open to 2018, most people make resolutions. Commonly known as a New Year’s Resolution. It’s probably some behavior we think will improve our way of life or simply make us better people.
So we finally decide to join that gym we pass on the way to work everyday. Or we’ve watched enough television to decide that chicken with Polynesian sauce is not quite the best choice for Breakfast, lunch and dinner…(I probably just outed myself, but that sauce makes Everything better😋). Whatever it is….for normal folks, that resolution may last till March. If you’re super serious about it, you might make it to summer…And, if you are blessed and highly favored, it becomes part of the rest of your life.
I’ll admit, I’m guilty of resolution making and making a pot of black eye peas for luck, even though I don’t truly believe in luck. But I’ve decided to change things up a bit. While most people are gonna get kissed at midnight, or finishing off that bottle of champagne or apple cider, I’m going to be preparing myself for my next surgery on the 2nd.
I Am Completely Over All of It.
For 2018 I’ve decided to make spiritual resolutions. I no longer want to bend and twist like a dandelion caught in high winds with every bit of bad news about my health. I no longer want to find comfort in sherbet, chips, crackers and chicken….ok, I do want to, but I’m getting chunkier than a chocolate chip cookie.., starting to look like an Oreo over here😜.
So I’m going to gird myself up with scriptures that will fortify and comfort me:
Proverbs 11:27; Whoever seeks good finds favor, but evil comes to one who searches.
Psalms 46:1; God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
There are so many more, but a couple a day should keep me busy until:
Psalms 119:11; I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Song: Trouble in my way by Albertina Walker

I Love old school gospel…
Sometimes I wish the problems we have could take a number and wait to be called like at the pharmacy or DMV. Not likely to happen, but I frequently indulge in wishful thinking…And while I’m making “never gonna happen” wishes, sometimes I wish God would just let me mumble and gripe in peace. Unfortunately that’s not gonna happen as I pray all day and do devotions every morning. I’ve been alive 38 years and just started this habit in 2017, so if you feel behind, fret not. I also have a habit of listening to gospel music and sermons by podcasts. I figure if I keep feeding my spirit I’ll stay on this side of crazy and depression.
So I heard something this week so deep I had to pause: “you’re not punished or sentenced to pain and tears, you’re trusted with it”. I’ll be honest, my very First thought was “trust me less Lord”! When the rest of my brain kicked into gear, I was humbled and grateful. Grateful for pain and trouble??? Yeah, I know, but stick with me….
We’ve all probably heard that Christianity isn’t a religion but a relationship; and all the many ways people explain that. My own personal experience says Christianity isn’t a what but a how. It is how I see God, how He moves in my life, how I worship, how I go through my issues and how I draw others to Him as they watch me. Took me a while to get to this ideology. I remember seeing a visitor on the worship team at one of my old churches. I had just gotten out of the hospital and was already overwhelmed with gratitude, but then I found myself watching her. The song had been sung before but something kept me riveted. Her worship was so pure and open and personal that I wanted to be introduced to her God. Her expression of worship was so far beyond anything I had ever seen in church that I was convinced she had an “in” with Jehovah.
I want to be that person for someone else. So if my being trusted with pain puts me in a place where someone can see me and question “how?”, then it is my reasonable service for Christianity to introduce them to my Jesus.

Song: Help by Erica Campbell ft. Lecrae

Is there a difference? Do they look different? Honestly, I don’t know.
Lately I’ve been feeling like an exposed cavity nerve. Ever felt that? Hurts like….the dickens. Pray for me, I’m still a reforming sailor.
So, I managed to get December surgery free just to start again on January 2. Yay😒 While I still have a bunch of appointments every week ( completely over all of it), I’ve noticed I’m in a looping circle. I need to walk around, but I hurt everywhere and my push through is at a bare minimum. Translation: I’m getting fat..ter and getting less motivated to care. The sprouting of hips has me excited cause I’ve never really had any, but the matching belly makes me want to reach for a pint of sherbet. So as I struggle physically, there are nice people who offer to help and of course I smile and say I’ve got it when my prayer two seconds ago was God help.
I picked up this quote in my devotions this week, “Don’t deny someone of a blessing by doing everything on your own. In what areas do you need help? God created us to need each other, so don’t be afraid to both ask and receive help from others”. Wow.
As close as I am to my family, I even struggle with getting help from them. Of course I had to go digging to figure out what’s really the matter. It ain’t pretty… I’ve made some erroneous associations by observation and they became part of my view of the world.
Just a hint, it comes back to trust, surprised, yeah, me neither. So I operate thinking if I don’t lean on or need someone else then they won’t pity me and once the help has been given they won’t abandon me. Yes, that’s a mouthful, and I’ll have to expose that root another time. I figure as long as I can do it myself then people will like and stay with me because they can just be.
My devotions this week were full of passages telling me that Jesus healed and performed miracles because He was moved with compassion for the people.
I don’t want to block someone’s blessing because I can’t recognize the God in them.