Castaway…..

I promise I’ve never seen the movie with Tom Hanks and his named ball.
Perhaps I should mention that I’m a bit of a commitment-phobe. I wasn’t always like this, but a good amount of events in my life had just enough force to reshape my natural inclinations. So I tend to move sluggishly slow or not at all.
Over the past month I’ve found myself joining some of the ministries at my church. Yay me😃…..now let me tell you about the internal turmoil I feel.
I joined the media ministry because I saw a need and a small piece of me remembered I used to be really good with computers. I accidentally joined guest services, it really was an accident, because I used to be adept at handling people. This where I confess the absolute mind numbing fear when I get left alone to perform a task. It usually ends well and everyone is happy, but of course these aren’t one and done situations; rinse and repeat every Sunday.
If you have ever wondered if God sees you in view of all the people and cosmic activities and everything else He orchestrates, let me firmly and assuredly confirm that He does. My devotions this week led me to Hebrews 10:35, “Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:” I know the scripture is talking about confidence in your belief in God, but could we not also apply this to life?
I haven’t experienced much that can strip away self confidence like medical issues. I feel like I’m afraid of everything that is outside of my routine, aka control. You’d think I would have learned that I don’t have any control, over anything.
So I back away from the instantaneous panic and anxiety attacks and remind myself that although I don’t know what tomorrow holds, I know and have complete confidence in who holds my tomorrow.
Thank You God 💖
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